A Series Of Unfortunate Misunderstandings
by Jonsdottir
Summary: Prequel to 'The Plan'. The  supposed  epic romance of Spock and Jim. How it began and why people think they're 'doing it'. Preslash. Misunderstandings galore and pathetic attempts at humour. Fear it.
1. Valentines suck

Well, well... here we are again... This time the story is about what happened one year before 'The Plan', Valentines on Folnar II. No need to read 'The Plan' before reading this, but please do if you feel like it.

Please excuse any mistakes as this has not been beta-read, and I am rushing to get this done so I can get past my writers-block and begin on chapter two.

This story is planned to be ten chapters long. The first one will focus on how Spock and Jim grew 'close', and the rest are how the crew (mis)interprets their relationship.

Please leave a line or two and tell me what you thought of this piece is you like. Comments are what fuels us writers.

Happy reading!

A Series of Unfortunate Misunderstandings

Chapter One

'Valentines suck...'

James T. Kirk hated Valentines. Hated it with a passion.

One would assume that Jim Kirk would love the day, hell, he was almost made for it. An entire day spent celebrating love in all its forms and physical manifestations.

You would be wrong.

Throughout his childhood, Valentines had been a day where he and his brother had to fend for themselves. Pretty much like any other day, frankly.

His mother had run off with the 'man of the week' on an 'exiting date' and could not care less about the children she had left behind on their own until the next morning. Or the day after. Or the day after that.

It hadn't been all bad until Sam left. Once Sam left him he could feel the way emptiness and abandonment grabbed a hold of him.

After Sam, Jim had tried as best he could to fill that void, even if it meant filling it with meaningless flings and casual sex, always leaving first. Never being left.

He could bury his fears and worries with women and alcohol every day of the year with a few exceptions.

Valentines was one of those exceptions.

That day all of his _acquaintances_ were too busy with their _real_ relationships. Too busy to spend time on a nobody like Jim Kirk.

The past couple of years Jim had simply stopped asking people out on Valentines. Why should he? It wasn't like anyone wanted him or anything. He had found that the only thing that chased away the lonely feelings that threatened to squeeze Jim's heart in its icy hand was the sweet bliss of a drunken stupor.

He had since his sixteenth birthday spent every Valentines alone, with the exception of a bottle or two of whatever was available.

One time, though, there was an instance when he thought that he would actually spend Valentines with someone he loved.

It was foolish of him.

The girl he had been seeing, Ruth Lucas, the one Jim had believed to be the love of his life, had mercilessly stomped on his heart, suitably enough on the day where love was all but a human basic right. For all but him. She had said that she couldn't see a future for them. She said she deserved better than some high school dropout who barely made a living by fixing cars.

She had left him to explore the world, leaving him to pick up the pieces of his broken heart a gloomy February fourteenth with only a bottle of Scotch as companion.

The next day, he didn't wake up.

He had been out for almost a week when he finally woke up. His boss, Mr. Jennings, had called him several times on the fifteenth, but had received no answer. When he couldn't reach him after several hours he had apparently gotten worried and went to check on Jim.

Jim should have been thankful that Mr. Jennings found him that day.

He wasn't.

Once he got out of the hospital he quit his job, withdrew all his savings, ended the lease on his apartment and packed a bag. As the sun set he began a long journey, going from town to town, trying to find someone to make it all go away. It didn't matter whether it was the warm embrace of a woman, the rough touch of a man or the thrill of a fight.

There were no rules.

That is, there were none until he stumble upon Captain Pike.

The years at the Academy had been some of the best in his life. He had a purpose and a goal. He had friends, _real_ friends, for the first time in his life.

He still did not celebrate Valentines, it still hurt too much, even after all this time. He chose to wave Bones off with a grin, saying he had 'awesome plans' for the day before going to the darkest part of town to get as drunk as he possibly could.

It had been his routine for three years, to drink himself into oblivion on this ill-fated day, and he sure as hell wasn't going to change it just because he made Captain.

There had been a lot of grumbling amongst the crew after their first mission. It had run longer than expected, a phenomena only occurring every seven years on the planet they were sent to explore, had delayed their mission with almost two months as they had to wait out the raging wind, the showers of hail and the eruptions of volcanoes before being able to finish their mission.

Thankfully Starfleet Command had ordered them to Folnar II to restock and make some minor repairs. The crew had become ecstatic as they learned they were going to get two days of shore-leave, especially as Valentines was drawing near.

Jim had initially decided against going down for his scheduled leave when Spock had all but _ordered_ him to go. Claiming it was due to Jim's dwindling efficiency percentage he had, with McCoy's help, overthrown his protests and all but dragged him to the transporter room.

He had given up on his plans of getting shit-faced in his cabin and decided the only thing to do was to get shit-faced on the planet.

He would have preferred to find a suitable bar away from his crew, but McCoy had claimed he needed to be supervised, and thus he was getting dragged down the busy streets of the planet's largest city: Kvell'ta, accompanied by Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu and, surprisingly enough, Spock.

"Come on, Bones. I'm a grown man, I don't need you to babysit me in every port you know. How much of a political incident could I possibly cause on Folnar? I could probably marry a Gorn without people raising a brow!" Jim whined as they trotted down the street, a myriad of different aliens littering the streets.

McCoy scoffed. "You forget that I know you, Jim. You need a babysitter so you _don't_ end up married to a Gorn!"

"You know, I'd pay good money to see those honeymoon photos." Sulu said, eliciting a series of chuckles throughout the group. Except from Spock and Jim.

"Whatever. Don't hate on my Gorn-to be! You'll be sorry when it eats you!" Jim threatened sulkily.

"Shush, Kirk." Uhura smiled gently. "Look, there's a bar. How about we go inside and have a drink? You're getting cranky." She pointed towards a large red building with double doors, a large Jem'Hadar guard outside making sure the rowdiest clients were turned away.

"Tha's a splendid idea! I was craving a scotch!" Scotty said, bright smile on his face as they proceeded towards the bar.

The guard looked at Spock as they walked past, but didn't do anything to halt their entry.

Once inside they (Scotty and Sulu at least) insisted on a booth not too far away from the bar.

"Why did that guard glare at you like that?" Jim asked, looking over at Spock on the other side of the table.

"I can only assume he knows about the strength of Vulcans. I believe he was, as the human expression goes, 'sizing me up'." Spock said in reply.

"Hm. Go figure." Jim said as he called for the attention of one of the servers, urging his companions to order something to drink.

"Who'd win?" Sulu asks after he placed his order of Cardassian wine, folding his arms on the shiny tabletop.

Spock appeared to think the question over for a second before answering. "Since I have never heard of any altercations involving a Jem'Hadar and a Vulcan I do not have enough information to make an assessment on the matter."

Jim rolled his eyes and ordered a Romulan ale. "That's one way to avoid answering."

"On the contrary, Captain. It would be foolish of me to simply guess, without taking in all the information beforehand and making a baseless assumption is illogical" The First Officer replied coldly before turning to the waiter. "Water."

"That's no' the way ta live, Commander. Yer gotta have some firewater once in a while to cope with the dreary times!" Scotty exclaimed, urging Spock to try a glass of scotch. "You haven't tried spirits until you've had a taste of Scotland!"

"I assure you Mr. Scott, that I am perfectly satisfied with my current choice of refreshment."

"But _water_ is for the fish, Mr. Spock! Milk for bairns, Scotch for men!"

Uhura tilted her head to the side and smiled at Scotty. "And what of the women?"

"A lady as lovely as yourself can drink whatever she wishes!"

Jim all but rolled his eyes at the conversation Spock, Scotty and Uhura were having. He was amused, but he felt the need to get away from the cheery attitude that permeated the group. Except Spock. Again.

"Jim? You okay?" McCoy asked as he saw Jim's strained face, concern flaring through him as he watched Jim close his eyes, looking incredibly tired all of a sudden.

Jim shook his head, desperate to leave. "I'm fine, Bones, just don't feel like much company right now."

"Come on, you need to rest some, you've been getting more an more snappish lately, it's just not... you..." McCoy said, placing a heavy hand on his friends shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly before letting his arm move back onto the table.

"I know, but I'm crap company right now, so I'm just gonna go over there," Jim pointed towards the bar before he continued. "and drink by my lonesome. You can babysit me from here, Bones. Please, I wanna get some room to breathe."

The plea was low as Jim tried not to let anyone overhear him, his tired eyes looking into McCoy's confused ones.

McCoy frowned, but despite knowing better, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Do whatever you want, Jim, but I'll be keeping an eye on you to make sure you don't do anything too monumentally stupid."

"Thanks Bones, I'll see you later, though preferably not until morning. Or lunch." Jim said, a little higher this time. He stood up and shot the group a blinding smile before excusing himself, walking over to the bar. He sat down next to a pretty woman... at least Jim thought it was a woman, the J'naii were pretty hard to place in the gender department, not that he was picky about it or anything.

He smiled as he asked the bartender for a drink, the first of many if everything went according to plan.

Two hours later, when Jim assessed he was proficiently shit-faced, a very beautiful Orion sat down next to him.

Jim instantly turned to her and gave her a drunken grin, she rolled her eyes before flashing a blinding smile of her own. "Are you going to buy me a drink or not? I don't have all night, you know." she said, leaning close to Jim.

"Are you sure? If you did, we could have some fun times. Valentine's and all that." Jim smiled, only slurring the last few syllables, but managing to knock his bottle over as his hand missed it by a mile as he was too preoccupied by assessing the green woman's ample... charm.

Smiling knowingly the Orion woman giggled and threw her deep red locks over her shoulder. "We'll see. How about that drink first, though?"

Signalling to the bartender for a second round of Romulan Ale and whatever the lady wished, he turned back to her.

"I'm Jim."

"Deena." The woman said as she took a sip from her rink, looking at Jim from underneath long lashes.

"A pleasure." Jim said with a smile.

Laughing she ran a finger down his cheek. "Maybe, if you play your cards right."

Across the room, dark eyes observed the surroundings of the crowded bar. These kinds of places, no matter how often he was made to frequent them, felt so very _alien_ to him that it was almost laughable. If it had not been for McCoy's wish for him to help keep the Captain in line, he would have been all too pleased to remain on the Enterprise, meditating.

Although he could understand the Doctor's sentiments when it came to their Captain as he id have a most unfortunate predisposition to find himself in the midst of trouble. It seemed that today was no exception.

The Orion female was clearly using pheromones, and they were affecting more than just the Captain as the people around the bar were beginning to get the glazed, drugged look in their eyes that were so telltale of the Orion pheromones influence.

Turning to McCoy, Spock tried to attract his attention without alerting the rest of the people at the table, but as the good doctor had taken to his fourth glass of 'Jack', as he called it, he was less than attentive. After the second failed attempt Spock dubbed his endeavour as fruitless and decided to take care of the situation before it developed further, preferably before the Captain entered anaphylaxis due to overexposure to Orion pheromones.

Two drinks in, Jim was leaning heavily onto the woman, seemingly satisfied with how her hand was inching its way up his thigh. His content, buzzing, inebriated smile was soon replaced as a large wall suddenly formed inbetween him and Deena.

The girl cried out as her hand was caught in a crushing steel grip, removing it from Jim's thigh. Frowning he tried to make his foggy brain process what was happening, and his hazy mind slowly realized that the wall was his Vulcan First Officer. Frowning, Jim wondered to himself why he was here. Did he want the Orion for himself?

Tough luck!

Spock would have to go find a date of his own!

As Jim tried to work out what to say, Spock gazed down at the Orion girl and spoke to her in her own tongue. "You would do best to remember not to touch what is not yours, lest you might lose your arm." He squeezed her thin wrist slightly, seeing her flinch.

"I... I..." she began, but was unceremoniously shot down by Spock immediately.

"Silence!" He narrowed his eyes and she visibly shrank back. If the response did supplicate him, he promptly ignored it. "You have nothing to gain here. You should also be aware of that the release of Orion pheromones in a crowded place such as this with sub-par ventilation is an offence against the United Federation of Planets regarding harmful substances subsection 18F §149. I would advice you to keep your distance or I will arrest you."

The woman's big eyes stared at Spock as he let her go and turned to grab her former mark for the night.

"Captain, we are leaving." Spock said as he grabbed Jim by the arm, pulling him up from the chair and using his superior strength to get the struggling man to follow him.

"What? No! Let me go!" Jim shot out as he stumbled after Spock.

"What the _hell?_" McCoy said, shooting up from his seat, "Where's that green-blooded hobgoblin running off with Jim?"

Uhura leaned across the table and grabbed the doctor's arm. "Calm down. If you go after them now, you'll probably just get clobbered. Spock is in a bad enough mood."

McCoy gave the woman a questioning look before shrugging her hand off of him. "What is that supposed to mean? What's going on?"

"Well... you know about Orions and Vulcans, right?" She asked, looking around the table. Seeing the blank looks she received she sighed. "Look, Orion pheromones doesn't work on Vulcans, but they still bring forth their possessive instincts. They are strong enough to be considered a threat to... um... mates, and the fact that that Orion woman was laying it thick for the Captain wasn't very, shall we say: appreciated, by Spock."

"Not to sound like someone who isn't getting it, but I'm not getting it..." Sulu said, knocking back a glass of soju.

Rolling her eyes Uhura sighed again. "Really, you guys need a massive dose of common knowledge. All right! The thing is, it seems Spock has feelings for the Captain. And they're probably reciprocated."

"_What_?_"_

"_What_?"

"I knew it!"

Three sets of eyes turned to look at the Scotsman. "What? I did!" he said, grinning as he poured himself another scotch in celebration.

"Well, anyway, I heard what Spock said to the Orion woman. He basically told her to keep her grubby mitts off of his property, or he would rip her arm off." Uhura said, pulling the attention back to her, leaving Scotty to celebrate the new couple in peace.

"You... you can't be serious! Jim would never... That pointy eared bastard... just... It's not _right_!" McCoy said.

Uhura's dark eyes flashed dangerously. "Why? Because they're both men?"

McCoy grimaced. "Course not! Like I care about that, he's a freaking _Vulcan_, and Jim's... well, Jim..."

"I don't know... they might fit together." Sulu said, making McCoy and Uhura to turn and look at him. "I mean, Spock's all by the book, right, and the Captain is just a bit too out there on occasion. They might ground each other. Well, at least Spock could ground the Captain, the Captain would probably just be a bad influence on Spock."

"I still don't believe this. And even if it's true, I sure as hell don't support it!" McCoy huffed, waving down a waitress and ordering a Romulan ale.

"Come on Leonard, don't be that way. The Captain will still love you too." Uhura teased, laughing as McCoy was very ungentleman-like and showed her a _very_ rude gesture.

As soon as they were out in the fresh air, free of the stifling heat inside the bar, Spock pulled out his communicator. "Two to beam up, Enterprise."

"Acknowledged." Was the only response he received before the two of them were demolecularized before reappearing in the transporter-room.

Ignoring the interested glances from the ensign, Spock hurriedly pulled Jim out of the transporter-room, not wanting to explain his captains, and his own, erratic behaviour to the ensign on duty.

Once out of the room, Spock steered towards the captain's quarters, but with each passing step, Jim's protests were becoming more and more vocal, as well as violent.

After Jim's third attempt at slugging him, Spock realized the Captain would not be able to reach his own cabin in time before a crewman may end up hurt, so he opted to place the drugged man in his own quarters instead.

A fist whooshed past his head as he was forced to let the Captain go as he tried to input his code. He easily avoided the punch, but seeing how aggressive Jim was becoming made him growl in impatience.

The Orion's pheromones had apparently been a lot more effective than he had initially assessed, seeing how the Captain was repeatedly trying too instigate a physical altercation.

The doors opened with a whoosh and Spock sidestepped another blow just in time to push Jim into the cabin, making his Captain stumble and fall onto the floor.

"Captain, please refrain from further physical attacks, or I will be forced to retaliate."

The only response he got was that the Captain growled before lunging at Spock, managing to catch him by the waist, pushing him against the bulkhead wall.

Realizing that Jim's condition would not allow Spock to calm him down verbally, Spock tried to think of a way to incapacitate Jim without inflicting too much harm upon his Captain. The Vulcan nerve-pinch was out of the question as the Captain would probably manage to choke on his own vomit if he was rendered unconscious.

The only options he could think of during the circumstances were to physically exert the Captain, hopefully rendering him more docile, or to make him repel the toxins in his system. A cup of cold, double strength Vulcan spice-tea should upset Jim's frail human stomach.

Spock quietly mused that this was one of those times when it was 'easier said than done', as the humans usually put it.

Jim was surprisingly agile for a drunk, drugged man, and he managed to slip free every time Spock managed to grab him.

When Jim lunged he managed to push Spock backwards a few steps, but Spock almost immediately turned around and pushed Jim into the bulkhead, probably with a bit more force than necessary as a shelf rattled dangerously and a bowl of glass incense-beads topple over, falling onto the floor with a clatter as they scattered throughout the room.

Shouting out in pain, Jim closed his eyes minutely before trying to pull away again.

Forced to take a step backwards, Spock stumbled on the glass beads, making him lose balance and easing his grip on the intoxicated man.

Jim took the chance and pulled free, moving as far away from Spock as the room would let him.

They circled each other, both poised to attack, eyes locked as they seized each other up. Trying to see who would make the first bad move.

Mindful of the beads on the floor, Spock barely lifted his feet, pushing any beads out of the way as he moved it all but a quarter inch above the floor.

Though Jim was agile for a drunk man, he was less than patient as he soon enough grew tired of just glaring at Spock and ran towards him. Using the small table in the middle of the seating area as a footstool as he lunged for Spock.

Spock,whose patience was growing thin, growled and steadied himself as he crouched slightly, cementing his footing. As Jim came flying, he grabbed the blond's left bicep and his right shoulder, throwing, or more like _heaving_, Jim into the wall, the black shirt ripping from the force of Spock's grip.

Jim screamed as he made contact with the bulkhead, his body connecting with a sickening thud before he sank onto the floor into a heap of limbs.

Spock's eyes widened and he hurried over to where his fallen Captain laid. "Captain? Are you all right?" Kneeling down beside Jim he tried to assess the damage.

His Captain's white face and unfocused eyes made Spock pull Jim onto his feet, forcing him to walk towards the bathroom on unsteady legs.

Just as they entered the bathroom, Jim swatted away Spock's hands and made a grab for the toilet, subsequently emptying the contents of his stomach in an offering towards the porcelain god.

When Jim was done, the dry-heaves having subsided, Spock helped him clean up, and with a notably lower amount of the toxins in his system, Jim was a lot more docile, eyes drooping heavily.

Noting the ripped shirt and dirty pants, Spock helped Jim change into a pair of black regulation sleep-wear pants and a t-shirt before he led Jim to the bed. As his Captain was safely underneath the covers, Spock allowed himself a minuscule sigh before he turned to face the destruction of his quarters.

Taking a deep breath he stood up, wanting some time to meditate before beginning the arduous task of cleaning his quarters. As he took a step forward, a hand grabbed his wrist, making him raise a brow as he turned to look at his Captain.

"Captain?"

"Don't go. Not alone... not today..." Jim slurred, flinging his free arm across his eyes. "Hurts too much... Please. Always alone."

Standing next to the bed he noticed Jim's breathing had even out and that he was likely asleep. Spock then tried to pull away from Jim's grip, but not wanting to rouse the Captain, nor wanting to hurting him further, he soon resigned himself to sharing the bed with Jim, promising himself to

wake early so the Captain would not know of it.

That night Spock dreamt of a young blond boy with startling blue eyes that spoke of loneliness and hurt.

Hurried footsteps sounded urgently from the corridor just before the door chimed twice. Not awaiting a response, the door opened, revealing ensign Janice Rand. Her face was flushed with worry and her lips were slightly parted, ready to report that the Captain was missing.

Taking a step into the room she noticed the state it was in and she began to worry for Spock's safety as well. Walking in further she stopped dead as she saw the two figures on the bed. She was met with an eyeful off barely dressed Captain and First Officer, sleeping soundly entwined with one another.

An arm was slung possessively across Jim's waist, bruises covering the Captain's naked torso. The pairs bare legs were tangled together, and the sheet barely covered the large bruise in the form of a hand on the Captain's hip.

With large eyes she backed out of the room soundlessly and fled, desperate to find Uhura _immediately_.

When the doors closed, Spock frowned in his sleep as he began to wake. He was pleasantly warm, but his sleep hazed mind told him something was out of the ordinary. Opening an eye he was met with a head full of blond locks.

His eyes widened minutely before the events of the night before came back to him. He hurriedly, but carefully, disentangled himself from Jim, confused about the 'dream' from last night. Feeling an urgent need to meditate Spock got up, ignoring the state of disarray of his quarters, and pulled out his mat. Sitting down he tried to find order in his mind.

A few hours later Jim awoke. Blinking blearily at the sealing, the feeling of something being off hit him. He sat up gingerly, his back hurt like a bitch, and he thought he might have pulled a muscle in his thigh. Grunting he tried to remember how he had gotten back to his quarters.

Suddenly a dark voice said "Lights to seventy percent." and he involuntarily closed his eyes and covered them with the balls of his hands as a whine escaped his lips.

Jim was instantly aware of Spock's presence before he saw him. Pulling his hands away from his eyes he blinked, trying to get used to the new light. "Hi Spock." Jim said, not having the

energy to muster up any kind of surprise in response to Spock being in his room.

Dark eyes observed him intently. "You do not enjoy Valentines." It was a statement, not a question, and Jim frowned.

"What?"

"If the day makes you uncomfortable, you should just say so. It is illogical to endure... loneliness by inebriation."

Jim's eves narrowed and his jaw tightened. "You don't know anything. I don't like being alone, okay?"

Spock took a step closer, his brow in the 'you-are-too-illogical-for-words' position as he peered down at Jim with what could only be described as... pity.

It pissed Jim off.

"If you state that you are to continue with such detrimental behaviour I cannot allow you to do so."

"You have no right to order me around!" Jim yelled, outraged. If he wanted to drink himself piss-drunk on Valentines, it was _his _business and his alone.

"That may be, but such volatile behaviour is unnecessary, and unbecoming of a Starfleet Officer. I am willing to offer my assistance in the matter."

"What?" He felt like such a broken record, but he had no idea where Spock was taking this.

A patient look crossed Spock's face before he continued. "You appear to be suffering from abandonment anxiety. I am your First Officer. I will not leave you."

Jim's face flushed with anger and embarrassment. He grabbed blindly on the floor and pulled a shirt over his head so he didn't have to face Spock. "Have you been in my head?" He growled.

"Negative. Due to close proximity as we slept, I received a certain amount of transference. I apologize."

Jim didn't comment. Instead he found a pair of pants and pulled them on, wobbling slightly as he stood, pain shooting from his abused back. "Where are we?" He asked, kicking a small ball of glass that flew across the floor. "What's that?"

"We are currently in my quarters. And those are incense-beads I use during meditation. When heated they release, for Vulcans, soothing scent that helps during meditation. They fell last night during our... altercation."

Suddenly Jim's mind was flooded with images from the night before . How he had been drinking planetside. The Orion. How he had tried to hurt Spock. How he had let himself get swept away by frustration, booze and pheromones. How he had begged Spock to stay with him.

The thought made him cringe and he found himself unable to meet Spock's gaze once more.

Besides, Spock had undoubtedly seen too much of Jim's personal life for comfort. Jim really didn't like his secrets 'out there', but at least he knew that Spock would never say anything to someone else about it.

"I... I have to go. Sorry." Jim mumbled before practically fleeing from the room, a slight limp to his walk as the muscle he pulled in his thigh protested at the sudden movement.

Too preoccupied with his own thoughts and internal freak-out, he didn't notice the curious looks his crew gave him, nor did he notice the bright blue science shirt with the rank of 'commander' on the shoulder, that he was currently wearing.

Finding refuge in his room Jim tried to collect his thoughts, but he was sure he would not be able to meet Spock's eyes for a long time.

Two weeks later Jim had mustered up the courage to take the hand of friendship that Spock had extended. The whole crew had known that something was up, and Jim couldn't fault them for giving him a sideways glance or two.

He knew he had been a wreck ever since Valentines, but having your deepest, darkest secrets revealed to your... your friend... could do that to a man.

Once the shift was nearing its end, Jim got up from his chair and walked over to Spock's station.

"Would you like to partake in a game of chess this evening, Mr Spock?" He asked, just as he had rehearsed it a million times.

Looking up from his console, Spock met Jim's eyes with ease, a tiny flicker of approval in the dark depths. "Certainly Captain. Nineteen hundred hours in your cabin?"

"Awesome. And my friends call me Jim, you know."

"Very well, Jim."

Thus began the (supposed) epic romance of Spock and Jim.

The End.


	2. so does leeches

Hello again,and thank you all so very much for your kind words and encouraging reviews. Here is the next chapter of ASOUM (pronounced 'awesome', because well... why not?)

Oh, and before I forget, I TOTALLY OWN STAR TREK because I am the reincarnation of Eugene Wesley Roddenberry, so playing with these guys is my birthright, at least if you look away from the fact that I was born several years before his passing, and that I would have no rights to anything either way...But still, birthright! YEAH!

A Series Of Unfortunate Misunderstandings

Chapter two – ...so does leeches

Dense green foliage greeted them as they materialized on the planet, the ground crunching slightly underneath their feet.

A whistle sounded, but it was soon swallowed up by the dense screen of plants surrounding them. "So this is Xerxes VI? Nice place." Jim said, looking around at the colorful flowers and tall plants.

"Captain, I am picking up elevated signs of beta-rays. If we stay here long enough, we will begin to be affected." Sulu said, looking down at his tricorder. "The plants also show a higher value of chlorophyll, I believe it is because the beta-rays, making the absorption maxima of chlorophylls against the spectrum of white light much broader than usual."

"Fascinating, I'm sure, but how long is 'long enough'?" Jim asked, turning to face Sulu, frowning.

Thinking for a moment, Sulu calculated the numbers. "About a week, maybe less if the rays intensify during a special time of day, like an equivalence of a solstice."

Nodding, Jim walked over to Spock. "Well then, let's hurry up and find that wonder-plant! Sulu, you and ensign Mallory go down there, Spock and I will take the this path." Jim said, motioning towards the only visible pathways out of the small clearing.

Watching Sulu and Mallory make their way down the thick foliage, he didn't notice that Spock began to move down their own path. Frowning he hurried after his First Officer.

As he walked, he watched Spock's broad back, unsure if he should strike up a conversation, or continue to walk in silence. He still felt weirdly exposed after the 'Valentines train-wreck extravaganza' as he had dubbed it in hid mind.

It had been two weeks since he had mustered up the courage to ask if Spock wanted to join him to play chess, and they now had a standing arrangement to meet up on their mutual off days in Jim's cabin at 21:00.

They usually talked about anything, mostly keeping to topics Jim deemed 'safe', but Spock had once or twice tried to make Jim open up about his 'issues'.

He couldn't help but smile at the memory. Who would have thought that his Vulcan First Officer would try to make Jim open up and talk about his feelings? It was quite laughable.

But also kinda sweet in a weird way.

At least it made Jim see that Spock actually cared for him, because he doubted that Vulcans would discuss emotions with people they didn't give a damn about.

It was comforting to know that his First Officer had meant it when he said that Jim would not have to be alone again. Jim didn't have a lot of friends, acquaintances, yes, but friends were a lot harder to keep for some unfathomable reason as they kinda required that they be let into his life to some degree.

Bones had been easy. Even though he had been apprehensive at first, Jim soon realized that the older man was someone he could trust. They had both been betrayed, left broken and in need to pick up the pieces of both their lives and their hearts. Bones' gruff exterior was what protected him, just as how Jim's easygoing personality and bright smiles protected him from being hurt, used and broken again.

Though the man might complain more than anyone he had ever met, Jim was happy every time he got a lecture, got smacked upside the head or called a stupid idiot after doing something reckless.

It made him feel that Bones really cared about him. He was like a weird mix of a brother and a father, and those qualities made Jim latch onto him. Jim wasn't an idiot, despite common beliefs, and he knew his own demons well enough to know that his father complex was one of the reasons he had sought out Bones in the beginning.

Although that had been a direct consequence, it was not the reason he continued to be friends with the man.

He loved him, short and simple.

Bones, to Jim, was as close to family one could get. Especially in his case since he didn't have a real one to start with.

Spock, on the other hand, Jim was still trying to figure out. Sure, the tall man was exceedingly efficient and brilliant in everything he did. It was like every pore in his body exuded perfection, and yet, no one knew he was far from as perfect as he seemed as Jim did.

The way he tried to choke him on the bridge was only one example.

Spock was surely ridden with his own demons, and Jim was still none the wiser of what demons those were, but he knew his First Officer well enough to say that he was brave and selfless, and that, logic be damned, always stood by his side when Jim needed him.

Promising himself to try and get Spock talking about himself during their next chess-game, he caught up with Spock and began walking next to him.

"Found anything yet?" He asked, glancing up at Spock, the emotionless features focused on the tricorder.

"Negative Captain."

Jim rolled his eyes. Short and to the point as always. "You know, it's not against regulation or anything if you call me Jim while on missions, you know."

Spock didn't even throw him a sideways glance before shooting him down. "I would prefer to keep a certain level of professionalism, Captain."

"Sure, you do that. Then that's one of us at least." Jim smiled.

"So it would appear." Spock deadpanned in his usual monotone voice.

Jim was on the verge of replying with a particularly witty comment as a sudden pain exploded on his neck. "Ow! What the fuck?" He yelled, clutching his neck and whipping out his phaser, looking around and trying to see if there was any threats near by.

At Jim's shout, Spock had done the same, phaser in one hand and the other holding the tricorder, scanning for life signs. "Captain, there appear to be no immediate threat. I cannot detect any other life signs in the vicinity."

"Yeah." The hand on his neck clutched harder, and Jim yelped when he felt something slimy wiggle against his palm. "What the hell was that?" He asked, a hint of panic creeping into his voice.

Spock turned to Jim and holstered his phaser. "Please remove your hand."

"But what if..." Jim began, not wanting whatever it was to latch onto Spock once he released it.

"Remove your hand." Spock repeated, voice hard and Jim knew better than to argue when Spock sounded like that. All authoritarian and stuff. It made a shiver run down Jim's spine and he slowly lowered his hand.

Spock frowned minutely and raised a brow, making Jim groan. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"I am unsure if the creature is toxic or not, but it appears to be an annelid, possibly an hirudinea if the segmented body is any indication."

"Standard, please! I'm a little preoccupied at the moment, I don't have time to think about what god damn phylum the thing is!" Jim said, frustration palpable as he tried to get his infuriatingly thorough First Officer to speak in plain Standard! A feat that had thus far proved extremely difficult.

Spock gave Jim a look that clearly stated that his intellect left a lot to be desired, but as the situation was as it was, Jim really didn't care.

"It looks similar to the leeches of Earth, although from just an initial examination I am unable to discern whether it is hematophagous or not."

Jim's eyes widen. "Well, get it off of me!" He urged.

"Is that wise, Captain? Should you not wait until you are in sickbay and able to discuss it with doctor McCoy." Spock asked. Although he could understand Jim's urgency in removing the creature, it was illogical to do so if removing it would mean a greater risk than simply letting it be until it could be removed under medical supervision.

"No way! Get it off of me now!" Jim shot out, not wanting to have the slimy creature attached to his neck for one more second.

"Very well, Captain. Tilt your head to the left and I shall attempt to remove it." As Jim moves his head to the left, the creature attached to his neck came into full view for Spock. It was about four inches long, a wet sheen clung to the dark, segmented body as it squirmed against Jim's neck.

Reaching out Spock placed his fingers around the leech and pressed the nail of his thumb inbetween to break the seal of the oral sucker at the anterior end of the leech. The fingernail was pushed along Jim's skin against the leech, at which point the leech decided to detach its jaws and Spock was able to pry it off of Jim.

"Motherfucker!" Jim yelled as pain exploded in his neck.

Before he could say anything else he felt Spock wiping at his wound with his thumb before leaning in and licking the wound.

Jim's eyes widened comically and took a stumbled step backwards as he felt the flat of Spock's tongue against his skin, leaving a warm, wet trail behind. "What the hell?" He said, suppressing the urge to cover the wet spot on his neck.

"I apologize, Captain, but as we do not know if the creature was toxic or not. Vulcan saliva is mildly antibacterial and it will aid you until you reach the sickbay." Spock said, hands behind his back and his posture just as straight as ever, acting like Jim was the crazy one and not Spock for just _licking_ his freaking wound!

"Um..." Jim began, not really knowing how to react or what to say. Trust his First Officer to find a perfectly reasonable explanation for licking people. "...Cool..."

There was a slight impatient tint to Spock's voice as he spoke once again. "Captain, should you not return to the Enterprise and let doctor McCoy look at your readings?"

"Oh yeah." Straightening up he pulled out his communicator and glanced at Spock. "You sure you guys can handle it without me?"

"Captain, If you do not leave in the next thirty seconds, I will order you to go, stating Starfleet regulation ten-twenty-one dash seven..." Spock stopped as Jim began to chuckle. "Captain?" He asked, wondering what he said that the Captain found amusing.

"It's nothing. Sure, I'm on my way." Flipping the communicator open he smiled to himself. "Kirk to Enterprise. One to beam up."

There was a moment of static before the reply came through the communicator. "Acknowledged. Stand by."

"I shall continue the search and report to you as soon as we return to the Enterprise." Spock nodded, placing the tricorder strap over his shoulder.

"Thanks. See you later." Jim smiled just before he was beamed back on board the Enterprise.

He once again found himself in the transporter room and nodded to the ensign on duty before making a swift exit from the room. Since he was now back on board, his first priority would be to seek out Bones and see if he was dying from some alien leech poison or not.

God, he hated the sickbay, and Bones would without a doubt be very surprised to see him, but when weighing his options between sickbay and possibly a few hypo's, or a headstone with the words:'_Here lies Jim Kirk. Death by suckage. Not the good kind._', he was leaning slightly towards the sickbay.

McCoy raised a brow as the door to sickbay opened and Jim entered through them. "You don't come here voluntary very often, you dying or something?" He asked in his usual, slightly gruff tone.

Jim shrugged and walked over to one of the bio-beds and hopped onto it. "I dunno. Maybe."

"What?" McCoy growled as he grabbed the tricorder from a table and hurried over, beginning to scan Jim.

"I was attacked by a leech-like creature planetside. Can you check to see if it was poisonous or something?"

Frowning, McCoy looked down at his tricorder to see what readings it were giving. Once he had read and re-read the information he growled and all but slammed the tricorder down onto the bed next to Jim. "Dammit Jim!"

Jumping slightly at McCoy's little display, Jim paled."What? What's wrong? Ohgod! I _am_ dying, aren't I?"

"Shut up, Jim! You're perfectly healthy. I don't find this very funny. I'm a doctor, I cure people, I don't appreciate pranks. Now get your sorry ass out of my sickbay and keep your tales of afternoon delight and Vulcan leeches to yourself!" McCoy growled as he grabbed Jim's arm and pulled him towards the door. "Good god, man! Try to at least uphold the appearance of professionalism while on duty for heaven's sake, Jim!"

As he was thrown out of sickbay, Jim was very confused. What had he said this time? He was getting thrown out of sickbay quite often these days, but Jim figured that McCoy was just being McCoy, that or he was on his period. Again.

Well, at least Bones had said he had nothing to worry about, and there was _no_ hypo's necessary this time, which made it like an epic win! Shoving his hands into his pockets he figured he was due a reward for being a good boy and getting checked out even though the evil doctor of doom had thrown him out.

A little side-trip to the mess before returning to the bridge was completely justified.

Besides, he was the Captain, and if he wanted a double-chocolate sundae, he was getting one damn it!

McCoy, on the other hand picked up the discarded tricorder and checked the results again. The only anomaly that Jim had was a dark bruise on his neck, and that it was coated with Vulcan Saliva..

He did _not_ need to know that, damn it!

Some hours later when McCoy entered the officer's mess, he saw Jim and Spock sitting at a table, talking animatedly. Well, Jim was talking and Spock was listening. Probably.

After picking up a tray with something he hoped didn't taste like wet cardboard for once, he sat down next to Jim and First Officer Leech.

It took McCoy almost two weeks to tire of the nickname. The angry glares Spock kept sending him only added to his amusement.

Jim on the other hand just ignored them both like usual.

All in all, it had been a good day.

End chapter II

oOoxXxoOo

Each of the following chapter will be dealing with how one member of the crew (mis)interprets the actions and relationship of Spock and Jim. This was obviously McCoy's turn in the spotlight. Chapter III will have Lieutenant Giotto, daddy issues and camera-surveillance, just for your amusement.

Hopefully that one will be out faster than this chapter.

If you have the time, please drop me a line and say what you thought.

Until next time, take care!


	3. Big brother sees all

Thanks again for all encouraging reviews and kind words. I hope you will find this chapter somewhat entertaining, although I warn you, it is quite rushed as I had to hurry and finish so I could concentrate on my K/S ADVENT entry.

Please ignore any spelling errors as I have not had this Beta-read.

A Series Of Unfortunate Misunderstandings

Chapter Three

"Big Brother sees all, but sharing is caring!"

It had been one month, two days and roughly seven hours since Jim had begun this tentative friendship with his First Officer, and he was now wondering if it had been a momentary bout of insanity that made him do something as stupid as become _friends_ with a god damned _Vulcan_!

McCoy had been right when he had voiced his animated opinion of the matter. _'Are you out of your bloody mind?' _He had said angrily, positively frothing at the mouth as he had stalked in front of the lounge chair in Jim's quarter. _'You're actually _fraternizing_ with the hobgoblin?'_

Jim had thought it funny how Bones had found his newfound friendship with Spock so distasteful, even though the two of them were on decidedly less than friendly terms, they still worked well together when the need arose.

_'Come on Bones, being friendly never hurt anyone! You should try it sometimes, who knows? You might even like it!'_ Jim had said back, rolling his eyes as he clasped his hands behind his neck cockily, smirking at Bones' aghast expression. _'Friendly? I know your _friendly_, and I have no interest in being _that_ friendly. Especially not towards that damn black-elf!'_

_'Fine, fine. Do what you want, but I'm gonna do what I want, too, you know. Stop being such a mother hen, Bones.'_

The look he had received in reply had been a pointed, annoyed stare, but his eyes were softer than usual, an almost pitying look in his eyes.

It had made Jim frown.

If it was anything James T. Kirk disliked more than anything, it was to be pitied.

_'I know, kid, but I just don't want to see you get hurt again.'_

Shaking his head, he had stood up from his chair and slapped Bones on the back twice, smiling. '_Trust me, I'll try my best not to get strangled again. That's playing a little too rough for my tastes._'

The look on Bones' face had been priceless, it was such an dd mixture of disgust mingled with annoyance and possibly even a touch of fear.

'_You know what? Don't tell me anything. Ever again!_' Bones had shrugged Jim's hand off of his shoulder had had begun stalking towards the door with long, angry strides, Jim's laughter echoing in the cabin. Just before walking out of the room he had turned around, a weird look in his eyes. _'Just take care of yourself. And fuck you if you think I'll be helping you with any bruises you get while being _friendly_!'_

Jim had thought that particular conversation to be just a little bit weird, but as with so many other things that didn't quite make sense, he ignored it and just took it as Bones being Bones, and that the man might had taken an early nightcap... at noon...

No, on the other hand, he was not so sure.

Who the fuck did that repressed, emotionally stunted and annoying as _fuck_ Vulcan think he was?

With a grim look on his face, Jim was currently stalking down the corridors of deck seventeen, trying to shake off his annoying Vulcan tail.

Could that man not take a freaking hint?

He had been avoiding him for _days_!

And he till followed him!

Gritting his teeth he thought about _that_ conversation.

Two days ago, he and Spock had faced the usual life-threatening-stuck-on-a-ship-about-to-explode-mission, and they had, after realizing that there was nothing more they could do on their end but wait for Scotty to work his magic on the transporter, decided to sit down, take it easy and talk.

Well, at least Jim had taken it easy as he had slid down the cold bulkhead wall and sat down tiredly. Spock on the other hand had _not_ found sitting on the floor a viable option, instead he had opted for leaning against the bulkhead, arms crossed over his chest, looking perfectly calm and not at all worried that they were facing their deaths in less than one hour.

Thinking back on it now, Jim snorted. So freaking typically _Vulcan_!

As they were stuck on that ship, Jim had thought it to be a good idea to try and talk with Spock, making the time go faster as he waited for their rescue.

That was when it happened.

When Spock brought up one of the subjects that Jim hated to talk about the most!

A subject so vile it left a bad taste in his mouth. A subject so appalling he wanted to bleach his brain. A subject so taboo he had nearly forgotten it, or at least tried to ignore daily.

Family.

Or to be more precise, George and Winona Kirk.

It hadn't started out so bad, at first the conversation had been reluctantly amicable from Jim's side, and he could hardly fault his First Officer's curiosity as he had a somewhat deeper knowledge of Jim's family life than most people on the ship.

Although he had to hand it to Spock, when the Vulcan had crossed the line, he hadn't dilly-daddled with simply his foot over it, no, that would have been too normal. Too _human_.

He had gone the whole freaking mile across!

_'It appears your father's absence made things... complicated for you.' _Spock had said.

_'Yeah, well, not a lot of kids have a perfect childhood, you know.'_

_'I am sure you are correct on that matter, but I was primarily talking about how it affects you now.'_

Narrowing his eyes, Jim had glared up at Spock. '_What the heck is that supposed to mean?_'

_'I am simply stating that your father complex and possibly even your abandonment anxiety is a direct consequence of his absence.'_

As he had listened to Spock's words, a red hot fury had enveloped Jim, and he had rushed onto his feet to stand in front of Spock, anger shaking his body. _'Who the fuck do you think you are? That is none of your business, even if it were true!'_

_'You should control your temper, captain. I am merely stating facts. Your father was missing throughout your childhood, and so was your mom. You resent them both for that, and instead of facing this problem head on, you seek comfort, acceptance and approval throughout meaningless salacious encounters, this is also fact, Captain.'_

In an instant, Jim's fist had shot out, ready to strike, but it was almost instantaneously caught in a strong grip, brown eyes peering into blue.

_'You deny this?'_

_'Fuck yes I do! Where the fuck do you get off on saying shit like that, you ass?'_

Spock had ignored the question and had instead continued to speak. _'I have observed this detrimental behavior of yours for four point two-one-seven weeks. You have during this period approached five males and seven women. Four of those men were in their early to mid thirties. They were all men commanding respect and had noticeable presence. Your preference in men is a clear indication that you are pulled towards those who remind you of your father, or the image of your father that you have created in his stead. From what I know of your mother, your preference in women are her complete opposite as you tend to lean towards...'_

_'Shut up!' _ Jim had growled as he pried his arm away from Spock's grip. _'Don't give me your psycho-babble! Who the fuck asked you to analyze me?'_

_'As long as your behavior is detrimental to your health and possibly even sanity, I will put every effort into making sure you are fit to act as Captain.'_

That had been the final blow for Jim. He supposed he should be grateful that Scotty had finally gotten the transporter working again, or he might have done a lot more than just kick the bastard of a Vulcan on the shin and stomp on his stupid foot!

As soon as they had materialized back onto the Enterprise, Jim had given his relieved crew a tense smile and excused himself as soon as possible, not sparing Spock a sideways glance and he had continued to ignore him ever since.

Though it appeared that Spock had had enough of being avoided as he had now stalked Jim the entire day, and Jim was beginning to run out of things to do that he could use as an excuse whenever Spock tried to approach him.

He really didn't want to go to the sickbay for a third time that day. Bones might think he was developing a crush on him or something!

Cursing his bad luck, Jim was approached by one of the ensigns.

"Captain, I would like to talk to you about the possibility to be transferred to the botany lab as I believe..." The brown haired woman said before Jim decided to tune her out. He had more important things to do, damn it!

Throwing a worried glance over his shoulder, Jim caught sight of a rapidly approaching Spock, and he gave ensign Stevens a rushed smile. "That's fine. Report to the paleobotany department at eight-hundred hours tomorrow. Please excuse me." Jim said, completely missing the woman's big, thankful smile as he hurried down the corridor.

However, he was soon caught by a strong hand, grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to stop.

His heart hammered a mile a minute within his body, and he could hear his blood strumming in his ears as that hot, heavy hand made itself so very noticeable with a tightening of the strong fingers. A sense of dread filled him, and Jim _really_ wished he was somewhere else that moment. He didn't want to face Spock and his pseudo-psycho babble, his disapproving tone and his god damned superior Vulcan attitude!

And the gall of that stone-pillar of a man, chastising him for who he flirted with! Heck, he knew he was a bit of a flirt, but Jim hadn't actually gotten laid in _months_! And he was beginning to think a few pieces of vital equipment were beginning to wither away from non-use!

Jim had a deep attachment to those parts. After all, they had been through so much together!

Forcing himself to focus, Jim gritted his teeth and slowly turned around. "Spock. I am currently on my way to... sickbay... Bones wanted to see me. Can this wait?"

The steely gaze that met Jim's blue eyes made him swallow. Spock was not amused it seemed.

"No, Captain, it can not. I am sure Doctor McCoy can wait a few more minutes, after all, you have already seen him twice today, and I doubt the good Doctor would take kindly upon you wasting his time. Again."

Frowning Jim shrugged Spock's hand off of his shoulder and took a step back. At least now he could

breathe properly without that restriction in his chest, although his heart was still beating wildly, but he supposed that was simply the effect of being caught. "What do you want?" He all but spat out, ignoring the raised eyebrow that almost disappeared underneath Spock's ugly bowl-cut bangs. Stupid Vulcans and their stupid, ugly hair...

"Captain, I merely wish to-"

"Not here!" Jim said in a hushed tone, looking around. "If you _have_ to talk, talk while we walk, Commander. Or wait until we reach somewhere less open." He stated and turned around and began to walk towards the turbo elevators.

Spock simply watched Jim's retreating form for a moment before following, hands clasped behind his back. "Very well. As per our earlier discussion, I admit that I might have been less than delicate as I approached that particular subject. I wish to apologize."

Rolling his eyes, Jim tried to suppress the now rising anger as Spock brought it up again. "Yeah, sure. Whatever."

"It appear as you are less than placated by my apology."

"You think?" Jim scoffed, running a hand across his face.

"Ow, fuck! My eye!" He called out and stopped momentarily, rubbing at his eye and blinking owlishly.

Spock's voice was surprisingly soft when he spoke."What is the matter?"

"Got something in my eye." He said, leaning his head forward and shaking it, as if trying to dislodge whatever was stuck to his eye.

He didn't have much luck in his endeavor as it only managed to make him dizzy as hell, and the tears that had threatened to fall were now being pushed out as he pressed his eyes shut, trying to regain his bearings and to settle his stomach.

"Do you require assistance?"

"No, I don't. Just leave me alone." Jim said as he began to walk down the hallway once more, rubbing his eyes, trying to wipe away both the tears, and whatever it was that had almost made him go fucking blind!

"Captain..."

Annoyed at the stupid Vulcan not getting the freaking hint, he growled. "Stop following me!"

"I will not, you are upset." Spock's voice was composed, like always, and that irked Jim. Quite a bit actually.

"Of course I am!" Jim spat, trying to pick up his pace. He had not walked more than a couple of meters when he was suddenly pushed into the wall.

"Let me go." He said, glaring through the tears that made his vision blurry.

"In a moment." Spock then proceeded to tilt Jim's head slightly to the right, both hands brought to Jim's cheeks. Jim's eyes were wide as he felt hot fingers trail his flushed skin.

"Please remain still." Spock said as he lowered his head, his breath a shock of warm, moist air on Jim's left cheekbone, right underneath his eye. What happened after took place so fast, Jim barely had time to register it. Suddenly Spock stood back up, and Jim blinked twice. Reaching up he wiped away the last of the tears, watching the dark eyelash on Spock's index finger.

"I... uh... Thanks." Jim said, desperately wishing for Spock to move away. The distance was too close for his liking, and although Jim was a very touchy-feely person, he desperately needed some personal space right about now.

Spock didn't reply, he simply inclined his head slightly and took a step backwards, hands once again falling into place behind his back.

"I... I'll be going now. We'll continue that conversation some other time. Chess next week?" Jim offered, feeling a bit stupid of how he had behaved earlier.

"If you would rather not continue the discussion, there is no need."

Jim shook his head. "No. It's fine... I might as well go along with you, if I have to do it at all... Who knows? It might be good for me?"

"I do believe it is unwise for humans to repress such matters in the 'long run', if my expression is correct." Spock then motioned with his right arm down towards the corridor and Jim nodded, walking down as Spock followed him.

"I believe you might be right, Mr Spock." Jim said, an uneasy feeling beginning to fill his stomach at the thought of having to talk about _issues_ with Spock, but the infuriating Vulcan was right. As always. It was probably for the best to talk about it... at least try to.

And although Jim might not be looking forward towards his next game of chess with Spock, he takes comfort in the knowledge that there _will_ be a next time.

xXxOoOxXx

Yawning, Lieutenant Giotto stretched his arms above his head in a desperate attempt to remove some of the kinks in his back. He was tired, hungry, bored and almost wishing for Scotty to blow something up again, just so he could have something to watch on the damned monitors as he was on Surveillance Room duty. Nothing ever happened while on Surveillance duty. You just stared at a bunch of monitors and tried not to fall asleep.

Grumbling to himself he was about to fight off another yawn as something on one of the monitors in sector seven Alpha caught his eye.

It was the Captain.

It was a crying Captain.

Sam frowned, but switched the feed to one of the larger monitors and turned on the sound just as Commander Spock entered the view.

"Captain." The Commander said, following the Captain closely.

At the sound of the Commanders voice, the Captain tensed visibly. "Stop following me!"

"I will not, you are upset." Spock said, closing in on the Captain. For a second Sam wondered what was going on. Sure, the two argued more often than not, but this seemed a bit different. He was intrigued.

"Of course I am!" Wakling faster, the Captainw as obviously trying to get away from the Commander, but before Sam had a moment to react, the Commande har reached out and grabbed the Captain by the shoulders and had him shoved up against the wall in an instant.

Sam growled. He might not have been the brat's best friend in the Academy, but the man was his Captain, and Samuel Giotto was a man who respected authority and gave respect where it was due, and not one, not even the Commander, was to abuse the Captain on _his_ watch!

"Let me go."

"In a moment."

He was just about to get up and hurry towards the Captain when he threw another glance at the screen.

His eyes went wide as he sank deeper into the chair, staring at the image in front of him.

Commander Spock and the Captain were standing very close. The Commander's fingers on the Captains chin as the Commander was _kissing_ the Captain!

Stunned, he could only watch as the Commander slowly pulled back, the Captain blinking owlishly, a dazed look on his face as blue eyes searched for brown.

"I... uh... Thanks." The Captains voice was soft, confused and perhaps just a bit tense. Soon enough the Captain broke eye contact and looked towards the ground, looking lost and vulnerable.

The commander took a step back and clasped his hands behind his back, his posture straight as always, but Sam thought it might be a little too rigid. Just a bit too forced.

Looking up,the Captain glanced at the Commander before speaking, a nervous tint to his voice. "I... I'll be going now. We'll continue that conversation some other time. Chess next week?"

The Commander almost looked surprised at the offer, but Sam couldn't be sure as the man was standing with his back towards the camera after all. "If you would rather not continue the discussion, there is no need."

The Captain shook his head. "No. It's fine... I might as well go along with you, if I have to do it at all... Who knows? It might be good for me?"

"I do believe it is unwise for humans to repress such matters in the 'long run', if my expression is correct." The Commander motioned for the Captain to begin walking down the corridor and Sam watched as they began to walk towards the end of the screen.

Just as they disappeared from view, Sam saw how the Captain smiled a slightly uneasy smile before responding. "I believe you might be right, Mr Spock."

As the screen went still once the pair had walked down the hallway, Sam sat stunned for a few minutes, trying to piece together what had just happened.

One: The Captain and the Commander were arguing.

Two: The Commander had pushed the Captain into the wall and then proceeded to _kiss_ him.

Three: The Captain and the Commander were to have 'chess' and 'talk'.

Obviously the conclusion could only be one thing: The Captain and the Commander were in a relationship.

Sam Giotto was not a homophobe, far from it, actually, he was a closet romantic. He believed in romance, wooing, roses and chocolate. The whole nine yards.

Therefore he did not care who a person might fall for as long as there was love between them, and right now he could not be happier for the Captain and the Commander for having to found someone to lean on.

Each other.

Plus, it was his time to bring a movie to Sulu's weekly movie-nights. He had been stumped as to which one to chose, but he thought that particular problem had just been solved.

Smiling to himself he set out to make a copy of the seven Alpha recording.

xXxOoOxXx

Thank you for reading and please leave a review and tell me what you thought if you have the time.

Chapter four will contain the merits of pillow-talk, and Uhura considers using Romulan ale as brain-bleach.

Take care and see you next chapter.


	4. Learning is good Forgetting is better

A/N I apologize for taking so long to update, I was hit by a dry-spell and my motivation emigrated towards a warmer climate, and real life caught up with me. I am really sorry, and I will try to get my act together in the future, but I cannot give any definite promises.

I would also like to say that I am in need of a Beta who would be kind enough to help me with my stories. I would like one who is proficient at helping me with the whole grammar and structure-bits, as well as the overall feel of the story. As I am currently writing a contribution to the Star Trek big Bang, I am also searching for a beta for that story. If you are interested, please PM me, and I will send you short description of the story so you can see if it is something you would be willing to help me with.

Thank you for all the reviews and critiques. It makes me smile every time I see another one in my inbox.

And lastly I would only like to say that this story was originally planned to have ten chapters, but thanks to one reviewer, it will now have at least eleven, probably twelve chapters. Thank you for the wonderful idea. And please feel free to suggest scenes if you can think of a fun misunderstanding. I can't promise it will be written, but I humbly accept all inspiration you send my way.

Thank you.

A Series Of Unfortunate Misunderstandings

Chapter Four

"Learning is good. Forgetting is better."

Uhura yawned and stretched her tired arms above her head. She groaned as her shoulders made a low popping sound and slumped back into her seat with a content sigh.

Now she could finally wind down and let her muscles relax, especially as she had the next day off. Curling her legs underneath her she got comfortable in the lounge-chair and opened her book.

A couple of hours with the sole company of Darnakk, the Space Investigation Bureau's top Detective and his most recent case: _Telling of the Tellarit:, A study in Blue_, would do wonders for her frazzled nerves.

Just as she had gotten to the part where Darnakk saved an injured woman off of an escape pod, the tell-tale 'whoosh' of the door alerted her that she had unwanted company.

She scooted further down into the chair and decided to ignore whoever it was who had entered the room. With renewed determination she stared at the PADD in her hands and continued to read.

At least until a familiar voice bounced off of the bulkhead walls, making her pause momentarily.

"So, what you're saying is that your mom learned Vulcan through pillow-talk?" Uhura could sense the grin on his lips, accompanied by that impish look that made his eyes sparkle devilishly.

"I said no such thing." Spock's distinct voice made her heart skip half a beat before she managed to calm herself. Falling out of love was not an easy task, and Uhura did not want to let all her hard work be for nothing. They had some good memories, and she would cherish them, but she knew there would never be anything else between them than friendship.

"I merely stated that my mother found that the study of the Vulcan language more giving once she and my father bonded. I see no basis for you conclusion."

There was a disbelieving snort that made Uhura smile before Kirk spoke once more. "Oh, come on, Spock! Don't be so naive. I've learned a lot of things that way. Orion's for example, excellent pillow-talkers."

There was slight pause before Spock spoke once more. "I was unaware of your ability to speak Orion, Captain." Unless Uhura was mistaken, Spock's voice was a bit tense as he waited for Kirk's reply, and she could imagine how Spock, usually so calm and efficient, was standing just a bit too straight.

"Well, I wouldn't say I know Orion, but I know the basics, at least in bed. It's a nice way to study, you know." The leering smile in Kirk's voice was palpable.

"You have an unconventional way of furthering your studies, Captain"

"Well, you know me, Spock. Unconventional is the only way for me." Kirk laughed before a low thud sounded, and Uhura figured that Kirk had slapped Spock on the back, probably making the man raise his brow in return.

"I see."

"Oh, do you?" Kirk grinned. "You know, I'd like to learn Vulcan. It's an interesting language."

"Very well, I offer my assistance in the matter. How about we begin lessons this evening. Over chess?"

"Sounds great. See you later, then?"

"Affirmative." There was a pause, and then a set of footsteps started moving towards the door. "Captain," Spock said, making Kirk halt. Uhura figured he turned around to face Spock, waiting for him to continue. "I have a few... _innovative_ ways of teaching, myself."

"Really, mr Spock?" Kirk's voice was almost... giddy as he spoke. An eagerness finding its way into his voice. "Bring it on."

Uhura could picture Spock making a barely noticeable nod in acknowledgment. "Very well, Captain, I shall teach you thoroughly."

Uhura stared down at her PADD unseeingly a long time after both the men had left, the words melting together, and she felt a lot less interested in how the romance between Darnakk and Soleena would play out. After all, hearing your ex-boyfriend shamelessly flirting with _his_ new boyfriend did make one feel slightly queasy.

Maybe a hot bath and drink would serve her better after all?

When she thought about it, perhaps Scotty had a nice bottle stowed away somewhere.

Or perhaps she would need something a little stronger. She had heard that Romulan Ale was good for forgetting, and boy, did she need to forget!

At least she hadn't walked in on them doing it... yet.

Screw forgetting. Had science ever contemplated brain bleach? If so, where could she get some?.

xXxOoOxXx

I apologize that this chapter is so short and stupid, but it refused to cooperate with me, and that's why it's mostly dialogue-driven.

I kind of wanted to incorporate Kirk and Spock's side of the conversation, but it seemed like such a repetition of the last chapter.

In the next chapter the Jeffries Tubes are used for seemingly inappropriate acts, and Scotty is not amused by Jim's attempts to revive the Disco Era.


	5. The Day Disco Died Again

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A Series Of Unfortunate Misunderstandings

Chapter Five

"The day Disco died. Again."

The air was humming with electrical charges as the panel under console 4 dash B was removed in Jeffries tube 7.

Spock watched as Jim Kirk reached inside the now open partition of the wall. "Captain, are you positive that you should be doing this without Mr. Scott's knowledge?"

Jim waved a hand dismissively at Spock's general direction. "Pssh, it's only a slight improvement." He said, trying to figure out which wire was the one he was after, his fingers following the brightly colored nodes.

Standing next to the Captain, Spock watched as he was searching among the wires, a disbelieving brow raised sardonically. "Altering and rerouting the circuitry so the mess hall will acquire flashing neon lights is hardly an improvement, Captain."

Tan fingers haltered their trek across the brightly colored nodes and wires and a pair of intense, blue eyes narrowed as he turned slightly to face Spock while sighing exasperatedly. "God! Why are you even here? Don't you have something science-y to do?" Jim said stubbornly. "And yes, science-y _is _a word. Go pester someone else!"

The look he received in reply was almost enough to make him rethink his current quest, but not quite. 'Scathing' was too weak a word to describe it, acrimonious, austere, trenchant and perhaps vitriolic and caustic all put together might be close enough a description. Although not quite.

Jim swallowed, his mouth suddenly extremely dry, making his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth. Spock's rigid form, which often enough was a comforting and stable presence in Jim's life as of late, also intimidated him half of the time while he also made Jim feel exceedingly small and incompetent at times.

This was one of those moments.

"I would be remiss if my duties as First officer if I did not make sure that our reckless Captain does not electrocute himself whilst trying to acquire 'disco mood' in the mess hall."

Turning away from Spock's accusing eyes, determined not to show any weakness Jim cleared his throat. "Yes, yes, quite right. Now give me the B12, or get out of my way." He muttered, trying to ignore the rapid beating of his now thundering heart. How come Spock always made him so god damned nervous? The fact that the stoic man kept silently judging everything he did did not help matters either.

Without taking his eyes off of the Captain, Spock easily located the requested tool and handed it to him, raising his brow minutely as Kirk reached for it, their fingers brushing not too gently in his haste to grab it.

Just as Jim grabbed it, the Enterprise swerved to the left, making both Spock and Jim to stumble and fall towards the grated floor. As Spock tried to catch Jim, Spock hit the deck first, making Jim fall on top of him with a heavy thud.

Spock exhaled as Jim collided with his chest, knocking the wind out of him minutely. He automatically wrapped an arm around Jim's waist, holding him close as he waited for the ship to stabilize.

As soon as he regained his bearings, Jim scrambled up into a sitting position, straddling Spock's thighs. Spock pulled his arm back from around Jim's waist and used his elbows to push himself up off of the floor, dark brown eyes watching as Jim hit the comm on his shirt.

"Kirk to bridge. What's going on?" His voice was calm, despite the quite literal, unexpected turn.

There was a moments silence before the comm crackled before Sulu's voice filled the enclosed space of the Jeffries tube. "Nothing, sir. We had to evade a collection of debris. The scanner didn't pick them up until it was too late. I apologize for the bumpy ride."

Jim could hear the irritation in the man's voice. Sulu really didn't appreciate things going wrong when he had command over the bridge. Smiling slightly, he understood the man's frustration. "It's fine. Good job."

"Thank you Captain. We're running a full diagnostic on the long-range sensors. We'll have it fixed as soon as we can."

"Good. Kirk out." As Jim signed off, his whole body relaxed and he slumped forward slightly, sighing in relief while he tried to let his heart calm down.

Spock studied his Captain's features, and noted how much younger the man looked at that moment, and suddenly he wondered if the man was actually ready for the soul crushing responsibility that was the Captaincy. Although it had to be a ridiculous notion since he could think of no other person who could do a better, or even as good a job as James Kirk, no matter how childish he sometimes seemed.

"As we have established that there is no current danger to the ship or the crew, would you remove yourself?" Spock asked, watching as the Captain jumped slightly, as if he had been unaware Spock was even there.

"Oh." He said before a sly smile spread across his lips. "You know, I quite like it here..." He added teasingly. A mischievous twinkle in his eyes sparkled as he peered down at Spock. If the damned Vulcan could make him feel nervous and uncomfortable without even trying, the least he could do was to return the favor by trying to embarrass the always so proper First Officer.

"Are you refusing to move, Captain?" The question was accompanied by a sardonically raised eyebrow.

"What if I am?" Jim shot back, trying to ignore the tightening in his stomach as Spock's dark eyes roamed over his face. Suddenly, in a flurry of motion, Jim yelped as he was unceremoniously flipped onto his back.

Spock calmly met Jim's widened eyes and answered with a steady, deep voice. "It would be illogical as I possess greater strength than you."

Even though the impact had been fairly easy, Jim felt a dull ache in between his shoulder blades as he stared up at Spock. His mouth was suddenly dry and he had, for once, no witty comeback. "I see. How illogical of me." He said, frowning slightly as he wondered about his reaction.

Admittedly, Jim didn't like to show weakness, and he did feel kind of weak being flipped over like he didn't weigh half of his hundred and sixty pounds was all kinds of annoying. Yeah, that had to be it... and it was kind of hard not being annoyed by someone who keeps trying to babysit you, even though you are clearly the Captain, and actually have a lot more brain cells than what infernally superior Vulcans believe... In general. Not thinking of anyone special, just a general observation. That is all...

Jim was soon enough brought from his reverie as the man above him raises a brow . "Indeed."

"I say yer both mad!" A sudden voice called from behind Spock's back making Jim jump slightly, knocking his head on Spock's chin.

"Fuck!" Jim yelled, reaching up to grab his injured head, all but rolling around in agony underneath Spock who merely blinked once as Jim's unsurprisingly hard head connected with his chin.

Raising a questioning brow, Spock looked over his shoulder to look at the clearly agitated head of engineering.

Having soothed the worst pain, Jim scooted back a bit so he could sit up slightly so he was able to look over Spock's shoulder. Rubbing his abused head, he gave Scotty a weak grin and a halfhearted wave. "Hi Scotty."

The Scottish man glared back at him, eyes narrowed menacingly. "Don' you 'Hi Scotty' me!" He said, clearly upset as his accent was thicker than normal. "Wha' have ye done to my lady this time, Cap'n?"

Spock turned his head back to Jim and inspected him for a moment before he leaned back onto his haunches and pulled himself up, grabbing Jim as he went. As the two men were finally once more vertical, he placed himself in between the irate Scotsman and his Captain, just in case the older man wanted to physically fight for his lady's honor.

Jim gave Scotty an impish grin as he was reminded of his mission. "Oh, nothing bad. I just wanted to make her prettier!"

Scotty gave Jim a nasty glare, and the Captain could only look on as the man's face grew an angry mix of red and purple. '_That can't be a healthy color._' Jim thought to himself as Scotty opened his mouth.

"That's it! Get out of my Jeffries tube and keep yer sticky fingers to yourself!" He said and looked to the open panel on the wall before turning to Jim once more. "Awa and bile yer heid!" He cursed and Jim took a step back, raising his hand defensively, although still grinning widely.

"Fine, sheesh! Come on Spock, we're clearly not wanted here." He said, giving Scotty a mock salute before turning around and walking towards the ladder down to the next deck. After giving Scotty a curt nod Spock followed Jim.

Scotty glared at the back of their heads as they left. Once they disappeared down the corridor and around a bend he walked up to the detached panel. Leaning down he grabbed the cover leaning against the wall and picked it up.

"My poor baby." He said softly and gave the smooth surface of the panel cover a gentle stroke before placing the wires back inside the cavity before covering them up with the plate, securing it tightly once more.

Patting the now closed panel he glared back down the direction where the Captain and First Officer had disappeared down. "First he touches you inappropriately, then they canoodle right in front of you! I'll say!" He murmured to himself.

"That isn't proper. Not one bit!"

xXxOoOxXx

Walking down the practically empty corridor outside recreation room five, Jim turned to watch Spock as they put more distance in between them and their irate engineer. Even though they had been crawling in tight spaces, fallen, or more likely being thrown, onto the floor as the Enterprise avoided what could have been major damages and faced off with a Scotsman out for blood, the man looked just as unperturbed and stoic as usual.

Jim was beginning to think it would be all but impossible to even try and decipher the man's different emotional states.

If he had more than one, that is...

Although the scene on the bridge had been evidence of at least one other emotion than just 'cool-as-a-cucumber' and 'I-don't-give-a-shit-because-you-are-all-illogical' rolled into one.

Sighing Jim tore his eyes away from Spock and focused on watching where he was going before he walked into a wall or something equally embarrassing.

After the past few months, Jim had begun to believe that they had become friends, and even though Spock rarely displayed emotion, other than the twenty five different positions of his eyebrows raging from 'Intrigued', to 'Illogical' and 'Unworthy peasant', Jim kind of needed a friend.

Not that the rest of the crew were anything but friendly and welcoming, well, not counting a few select people when Jim did his utmost to annoy them, but as he was their superior, he felt it hard to really talk about things.

Him not being a big believer of sharing his past was also one of the reasons he kept a distance in between himself and his crew.

Except for Spock.

He had seen him at his worst, he knew about his problems and Jim knew of Spock's own insecurities. Not that the man himself had ever said anything, no, but Jim knew they were more similar than people thought, and he liked that.

If Spock ever decided to open up, he would listen. And he was thankful that the man actually cared enough to follow him around like an overgrown babysitter, even though it annoyed Jim to death on occasion. The fact that Jim was insecure as hell when it came to Spock judging him was probably because he didn't want the man to one day realize he wasn't worth his friendship and would leave.

Shaking his head and exhaling slowly, he tried to rid himself of the now so palpable fear of once more being so totally alone.

"Captain?"

Jim jumped as the voice crashed against him as a tidal wave, waking him and purging him of his thoughts all at once. "Yeah?" He asked a little too silently as he turned to face Spock.

Cool brown eyes watched him, and Jim could almost see a hint of worry deep inside the darkness. "Are you all right?"

A small smile crept onto Jim's lips and he nodded. "Yeah. Just...thinking..."

"I see. I understand how that must be taxing for you. Please do not strain yourself by doing something you are unaccustomed to." Spock said, his gaze locked with Jim's.

A snort tore itself from Jim's throat before a loud, bubbling laugh reverberated from the walls. Laughing and gasping for breath, Jim leaned against the bulkhead wall for support.

A couple of crewmen passed them and threw their Captain a worried glance, but that only made him laugh harder and soon enough he sank onto the floor, still laughing like a mad man.

"Are you in need of assistance, Captain?" Spock asked, eying the Captain closely, fully intent on stepping in should the man once again prove to suffer from a breakdown. After a few moments Jim made a weak gesture with his hand as the laughter slowly subsided into a series of chuckles and gasps for air.

"I... fine." Jim snickered and leaned his head against the cool bulkhead, trying to force down a calming breath. "Sorry..."

"Have you calmed down?"

Nodding his head vigorously while trying to suppress his chuckling Jim somehow managed to stand up. "Yeah. Fit as a fiddle." He said, smiling. "Although you almost gave me a heart attack with sudden development of sass, Mr. Spock."

An innocent look suddenly adorned the pale face and Spock's dark eyes didn't look quite as stern as before. "Sass, Captain? I believe I am unfamiliar with that particular Terran colloquialism."

Jim smirked and slapped the man on the back before beginning his trek down the hall once more. "Of course you don't Mr. Spock. Of course you don't."


End file.
